Dear Sextremely Repressed Republican Extremists

Dear Sextremely Repressed Republican Extremists,

Please explain to me,
as you sit at your men-only table,
why you find it okay
for insurance to pay
for viagra but not birth control.
I'm sure your table of decision-makers
full of impotent, infertile old men
has little to do with it.

Please explain to me
why you have catapulted corporations
and fetuses to people-hood statuses,
while aggressively eroding women's status,
minimizing her to reproductive machinery, uterus-status,
a non-person, a uterus you don't want her to fully own,
a uterus that you hate
yet need
in your quest to own
all the means of production
and reproduction.

I mean, really,
just because you act like nothing more than a hard-headed penis
doesn't mean you can reduce me to nothing more than a uterus
nor do you have my permission to poke your junk into my business,
so get the fuck out, because I'm calling you out
Rapists
Trespassing
in Religious Cloaks.

Have you read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale?
Oh, I forgot, you don't read because you're anti-intellectual.

So, then, you probably haven't read the latest study
that proved what we've always known:
Republicans have less intelligence
than everybody else.  (http://pss.sagepub.com/content/23/2/187)

But who can really believe science anyway, right?

You likely won't want my advice
since I'm credible and credentialed

not rich and religious
like your financial friend Foster Friess
who doesn't realize sex is therapy,
and sex with aspirin between the knees
is every kind but missionary--  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMVzaIMYuTY)

but consider this your lucky day.
I'm giving you free advice
because I'm just that nice
and here's how I want you to play:

Keep doing what you're doing. That's right.
Just keep moving to the right. That's right.
Keep moving to the right
until you're right
at the edge
of this big flat earth
and then,
take one giant step
for Mankind.

It will be evolutionary

and will make Humankind
(which includes women)
happy.

Now, don't worry. You won't really fall off the face of the earth,
you'll find that the earth is actually not flat

and this will be a shocking revelation
and you'll begin to question everything
you thought you once knew.
Your world will crumble beneath your feet.
You will feel unstable as
you experience a paradigm shift.

But then you will attain enlightenment
empathy
critical self-reflexivity
and you will apologize profusely
to everybody.

--by Diana Tigerlily